Feel the FEAR and Do it Anyway
This blog is a direct homage to Susan Jeffers, a true personal inspiration to me and visionary leader before her time. She wrote in my humble opinion the groundbreaking book, “Feel the fear and do it anyway” which was about, as you might expect, understanding your fear and tackling it head on.
As Brandon Boyd the lead singer of Incubus sang, in the emotionally nuanced rock ballad and ode to fear, Drive;
“Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty sting clear. And I can’t help but ask myself how much I’ll let the fear. Take the wheel and steer.
Abridged…………
It’s driven me before. And it seems to be the way that everyone gets around. But lately I am beginning to find. That when I drive myself my light is found.”
Are you feeling fearful in this current climate about the future? Fearful for your family and friends? Fearful for your job? Is the barrage of bad news about the Coronavirus stressful, mentally draining, causing you to procrastinate? Are you worried about your mental health or the mental health of someone else? Have you lost work because of it? Have you lost sleep?
I’m a Coach. I teach you to practice being resilient. I am resilient and I feel it too. But, I am not letting worry take over my life. I’ll admit I have it easier, both as a Coach and for not a TV! What about all us mortal souls, that are transfixed by the news, news notifications on our phones, chain texts and emails that are circulating Coronavirus news. I just can’t bl*ody well get away from it, it’s like I’m addicted to the bad news and it’s making me crazy, irrational and mentally tired! What AM I to do about it?
I’ve certainly felt frustrated! I’ve wondered, why, oh why is this happening? Do we really need to practice “social distancing” with zeal? By the way, the answer is YES! And have I wanted to throw my toys out of the pram? YES! Was I really sad and disappointed when my husband and I decided not to take our ski holiday to France, then a trip to Scotland? YES! I’ll admit, I was a bit p*ssed off and wanted to go regardless. I rationalised it and kept telling my Husband, we’re not in lockdown yet; it’s only Scotland; how much harm can we do? But ultimately, we made the right decision. It’s for public good. But not leaving on this ski trip didn’t prevent me from taking a “staycation” within the 4 walls of my house! I am going to have a whole week to bake, read, take baths, drink wine, and spend time with my husband although he has opted not to be “on holiday” (vacation).
I’m making the best of it, moving past my fear, and I’m here today to help you move past fear too. Here are my 10 tips on saying “No to FEAR!”
1 Have a vision for putting your fear behind you
Goal setting is key. Think of your goal as your fear. How will you feel when you are no longer fearful? What tools will you use to reduce and then get rid of your fear? Some strategies that worked for me: limit how many times I consume the news, switch off news notifications, exit WhatsApp Groups that increase fear. Take a hiatus from speaking to people who are too obsessed with the news and don’t realise the impact that it’s having on your mental health. It’s ok to take a break from personal relationships that don’t serve us.
2 Work on your vision to get through your fear
You may experience roadblocks when you try to tackle your fear. Don’t give up! Just give yourself credit for the effort that you’ve already made. Then try again, and look at using different tools to help you manage your fear. You might want to get a fear accountability buddy to check that you are doing the work you committed to. You may also want to seek professional help, if your fear is something that you are not able to personally manage. We all need to ask for help sometimes. There is absolutely no shame in that. Links are at the bottom of the blog my friends.
3 Ditch the connections that are not serving you or put them on mute!
Listen, more than ever, we’re in a time that we need good people around us. We need support and people to listen to our worries and concerns. Now is the time to reflect: you have some connections that are not serving you? Then take the action that you need to take to remove them from your life.
4 Ditch the negative people
Negativity is damaging to us all, period. So if you know that you’re associating with negative people, and it’s getting you down, then this is a good time to say goodbye. This is while we literally have to practice “social distancing” - see what I did there? You get the idea. Break up with your negative friends!
5 Ditch the people who are not practicing “the growth mindset” - Dr Carol S. Dweck
We all need to have people in our lives who are supportive and want us to succeed. Look for those people in your family and friends. Who are the voices of reason and calm? People with a “growth mindset” exhibit qualities to grow, to learn, and to remain resilient, even in challenging circumstances.
6 Ditch the people who are self centred and are not compassionate
We are all fighting internal battles trying to quiet our negative mindset in these difficult times. So, ditch the people who are self serving, and not empathetic to their communities and for the vulnerable. Break up with people who are not willing to consider others before themselves. If someone does not understand the need to work for the collective public good in these challenging times, then that someone isn’t going to be there for you!
7 Exercise. Release stress and tension
We are experiencing unprecedented times. I know, the gym has closed, which is another barrier for your normal go to fitness activities. I hear you. But say NO to laziness! If you are in lockdown or close to it, you still have all of the following available to you: stairs, the floor, the wall, the balcony, the garden, the living room, or your kitchen! Don’t use this as an excuse. I promise, you’ll feel better after going to YouTube ,finding your exercise of choice, and just doing some yoga, HIIT, circuits or Zumba!
8 Apply for jobs
I know what you’re thinking… What are you MF crazy? This is an economic downturn! No-one will be hiring right now! I know there may not be as many jobs out there now, and some people unfortunately will be losing their jobs. But employers are still posting jobs. You can still be interviewed remotely my friends. So dust off your CV and apply, apply, apply!
9 Do your business differently
It’s quite frankly a sh*tty time to be a freelancer or running a small business. I get it! However, being an entrepreneur is all about adapting to changes, responding to new trends and demands. So explore, experiment, and try new ways of working. You may be surprised. Who knows? You may just launch a new product or service line as a result of this downturn!
10 Be kind to yourself
Most of all, be kind to yourself.
Resources
UK
Samaritans - Suicide prevention
US
Books