Thank u, next?
In today’s blog I’ve led with a misleading title and some minor subterfuge, to throw you off the real topic of this blog! It’s not actually ironic or at all or going to have a negative vibe. Actually it’s going to be about a very important topic and that is praise. Praising the people in your network that give you honest feedback, that helps you learn, reflect and improve. Do you know how to give and receive praise? Do you ever feel uncomfortable accepting praise? I’ve been there. Do you know how to praise someone without it feeling awkward or cringeworthy? Do you know how to give authentic and genuine praise in a way that makes everyone involved feel comfortable?
I’ve been on the receiving end of positive feedback and not known what to do with myself. Not know how to take it graciously and without that strong urge to deny it, or give a negative retort to downplay the thing that I’ve done to receive the praise. I’m here to tell you that you’ve got to own the praise that you receive and not fight it because as you climb the ranks, you’ll need to be confident enough to understand both your strengths and weaknesses. Furthermore you’ll be a leader and you will need to be able to lead and motivate teams. It’s not a shocking thing to say, but people like to be praised! You’re going to need to be able to give praise to your team members, colleagues, children and friends. Let me REPEAT everyone no matter how young or old thrives on praise!
So here’s a new thing that I started this year to feel more grateful and to help me accept praise better. I’ve started a gratitude journal, which I write 3 things every week day that I am grateful for. Sometimes I tell the people concerned and verbalise what I have written in a face to face or phone call. I can report that everyone that I’ve done this to has liked and enjoyed getting that positive feedback that I’ve given them.
So here are 6 ways to give and accept praise.
1 Say, “Thank you” Verbally
Say, “Thank you for x thing and why x thing was great”. This is so the person receiving the praise knows why they are being praised and why they have been recognised.
2 Written “Thank You” Email or handwritten Note
Write a handwritten note that says, “Thank you for x thing and why x thing was great”. Do the same in email form, also remember to copy-in those people in your organisation that need to know about this awesome thing!
3 Go Public and tell a wider audience than just the individual
Take your praise to an appropriate public forum, like a team meeting, company all hands or meetings specifically for showcasing projects/actions and good work.
4 Allow colleagues to spotlight and praise team members or co-workers
Create a positive feedback mechanism that is bottom up and comes from team members and co-workers so praise does not just come from leaders, it comes from everyone.
5 Learn to say, “Thank you, I really appreciate your positive feedback” as your automatic response
Learn to parrot a phase such as the one noted above in response to positive feedback, whilst you are growing your muscles for self acceptance and positive feedback.
6 If you can’t say anything positive to accept the feedback, work on making your reflex response just “Thanks!”
Pro-tip how you accept positive feedback matters. Just say, “thanks”, if that’s where you are on your journey right now.
I can’t do this blog without doing my own Thank You’s to those people that have supported me in my endeavours and been good friends. So today, I want to say, as Andrew Gold sang, “Thank you for being a friend” also used for the sitcom “The Golden Girls” theme tune.
I also want to say “Thank You” to friends and contacts that I am no longer in touch with but have provided me with support, to them I say, “Thank you for the season”.
I’d especially like to thank the following people in my network for supporting me personally or my business ventures, giving me honest feedback and encouraging me to keep going! Author note, in the original post, people were tagged. They know who they are!