The British Glee of Failure

As, Usher famously said, “these are my confessions”! I think the British equivalent would be this is my “obsession with failure and negativity”. It’s almost a national past time to complain about the weather, how badly your football team is doing or the trains being late. The list could go on and on and on! 

It’s true to say Brits are obsessed with being slightly dour, negative and having a stiff upper lip. So to admit to your failures is almost beyond the pale! If we take that into the business context. Typically when you tell your friends and family that you want to do a start-up, they are all smiles and supportive, but the alarm bells are ringing in the non-verbal cues that they are giving off. They do indeed wonder, “why don't you get a real job?" as Cal Henderson, CTO of Slack says. They wait for the inevitable failure and instead of applying the growth mindset, they hope that you see sense and go get a proper job! 

So today, I’m listing 3 ways that failure can progress your career:

1 Failure to negotiate Pay

Sure it’s painful to admit failure especially in a society where it’s not cool and everyone dreams of instant success and fame. 

Here’s my story. I have often failed to see my value as a professional and felt uncomfortable negotiating pay. I am an ex-Civil Servant and I enjoyed my time in the Civil Service. What I didn’t enjoy so much was the grade and the pay scales. I started my Civil Service Career as Personal Assistant and I left a Project Manager. I had the opportunity to deliver policy, projects and impact the daily lives of citizens. And this was truly great! 

What wasn’t great was the disparity of pay between equivalent level contract staff and permanent staff. Having the full benefits, holidays and pension was great and stable. However it did make me wonder what was my true market value? I was afraid to leave a stable job and figure out my value and to work on a contractual basis in the public sector in the beginning. It took a trusted advisor to evaluate the situation properly, without letting fear of failure get in the way. I thought what if no-one would hire me? What if I wasn’t good enough to command a better salary than I was on at the time? In the end I did make that leap and undertook a number of public sector Project Management contracts. 

Bottom line here is, take the risk and try it! You can always apply for a permanent job if contracting does not work out for you. 

2 Failure to speak up in Meetings 

I could write an essay, book or tome on the countless times, where I have failed to stand up and be counted in a meeting. You know you go into a meeting with the best intentions of speaking up and saying your true opinion rather than just going with the majority. It is difficult to speak up and challenge sometimes as a Black Woman. You worry about being perceived as the stereotypical “Angry Black Woman”. 

Here’s my story. I was working for a public sector client and interviewing vendors for their digital transformation. There was a meeting with a particular vendor where the vendor’s offering fell well short of my expectations or what was outlined in the specification that I had issued the vendor. I waited and hoped the vendor was going to say that they misspoke. When they didn’t I felt obligated to speak up. When I did it wasn’t taken that well by the vendor and they tried to play it down and paint me as the “Angry Black Woman”. 

You’ve got to step up, present the facts and speak up, even if the people involved don’t react positively to what you have to say. At least you would have done your best to voice your concerns and no-one can tell you that you didn’t speak up when you saw the pitfall. Even if your opinion is overruled you can hold your head up high. 

3 Failure to be kind to yourself

There is a saying that goes, be kind to everyone you meet as you don’t know their story, what they’ve been through or are going through. I know that there is a failure to believe that we deserve a seat at the table, that we should step up, that we are worthy and we’re not a fraud. Welcome “the imposter". Who am I to think that I can do this? I am not sure I really deserve this position. I will be found out soon. These are some internal monologue thoughts that might go through your mind. Trust me, I've been there too.

Here’s my story. During my Civil Service Career I had the good fortune to work on a number of high profile projects. One such project was a funding project. I was to collate responses and review the data that was provided. Numbers are not my strong point! I’ve got Dyscalculia: basically, Dyslexia for maths. I made a mess of data collection! I kept making mistakes and slowing down the process. I felt bad about it, but I realised I needed not to lament, but just get the help I needed to improve the process. Once I did this I was able to get an automated process created and my burden was lifted. 

Ask for help when you need. If you need help, with finding the words to ask for help, check out Chapter 9, “Asking for help in my book”, Be Your No.1 Cheerleader.