When will I be famous?

As Irene Cara sang in hit 80s movie and tv series Fame, “Baby look at me and tell me what you see. You ain’t seen the best of me yet. Give me time and I’ll make you forget the rest”. Fame a musical that I really love is the antithesis of what this blog is about. Do you ever feel that sometimes you are “hiding” in plain sight? I’ve been there too. You know what I mean, when you go to a meeting at work and you hope that no-one notices that you’re there, when you go to a networking event and they ask for audience participation and you hope that you don’t need to join in and finally when you’re at a company team building day and they ask for your opinion on “how to make the team better?” I’ve so been there! 

I’ve certainly felt “not good enough at work”. Felt like I was an imposter waiting for “them” to find me out and tell me to go back to the place or the level that I belong at. Yes, it has been tough as a Black Women to try and be “invisible” despite my best efforts to try and hide. It’s a strong and overwhelming feeling that is over-powering and sometimes a debilitating emotion. It can become very comforting to chastise ourselves and listen to the negative internal monologue that tells us that we don’t deserve a seat at the table, despite our education, experience, job title, salary or wealth. I think a lot of women can relate to this feeling of wondering whether we’re good enough, doing a good enough job, balancing all our commitments and being present and delivering to the best of our ability when we’re at work. Have you ever been to a meeting where you should be providing an opinion, but you sit back and “mentally check out” of the meeting because you believe that your opinion should not be valued. You think that your view is probably wrong and I don’t really think I’m the right person to be speaking on this topic. 

So today, I’m here to tell you 3 reasons why you should say No to “Imposter Syndrome”. 

1 Accept that you’ve been successful in your role at some point.

Find a way to accept the notion however small, that you have been successful in your job. Work up to talking about it and verbalising it when you feel successful in your job. Write it down. Save the email where you received praise. Tell your friend, spouse, confident or lover that you’ve been successful in some aspect of your job. Ask them to keep you accountable, so when you say you feel a “fraud” or that “someone will find you out”, they can show that email, play back what you said that acknowledges your success and reminds you that you are good at your job. Pro tip recording someone saying when they are successful is irrefutable evidence as YOU said it yourself in your own voice! 

2 Stop comparing yourself to others!

I’m here to tell you that everyone has their own struggles and your perception of “that person” who you think is better than you, more accomplished, more knowledgeable and confident that you. Guess what? Here’s a surprise they may actually look at You and wish they were as “Good as you”. So stop NOW! Focus on you and you alone. Working on accepting your talents and skills. 

3 When you hold back your true and authentic self, it wastes energy! 

This one is a hard one. Sure I get it. Here’s what I’ve got to say, life is hard enough! So holding back your true and authentic self saps your energy and robs the world of your full talents and gifts. Personal development and growth doesn’t happen overnight. You have to build that self acceptance over days, weeks, months and years. So if you know this is you, then take the steps you need to let your true and authentic self come to work, play and the party every time.