Raise your glass to your authentic self

As Pink sang, in her defiant anthem, “Raise your glass”,

“So raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways, all my underdogs.”

There is often conflict when we think about how to present ourselves in the different parts of our lives. Today the theme of my blog is about presenting your authentic and true self and reducing “negative internal self chatter”. Last week's blog talked about how we should strive to find an eternal love for ourselves. 

Today I am going to urge you to get comfortable with being your true and authentic self at work. We hear a lot about this in the workplace and is in the context of the agenda around diversity and inclusion. In this regard, it is about allowing individuals to feel comfortable in different working environments. 

I’d like to draw a parallel with how we should consider ourselves as CEO of “yourself limited” and how this will impact how we “show up” at work. As CEO of “yourself limited”, you would think that you would need to present a confident and self assured face at your place of work. But what does it really mean to show up as our “authentic self” at work? Let’s consider that for a moment. What does this mean to you? Let’s consider the list noted below:

• Being able to wear clothing that makes you feel good - however formal or not as the case maybe

• Wearing your hair in the way that makes you feel good - not feeling judged about how you wear your hair and crucially how often you change your hairstyle

• Being able to talk about your sexuality openly - without fear of judgement

• Speaking with your accent with confidence - not worrying about if you are being judged by how you speak 

So we have to ask ourselves this really important question, and that is “who benefits when I feel confident, happy and myself?” If you don’t know the answer to this question, you are still on your journey to personal acceptance. The answer is YOU benefit when you feel on “Top Form” or my American friends “Hella Good”. 

My own personal journey towards being comfortable with my authentic self has not been easy and I am by no means the finished article. I can now talk more comfortably about where I failed with my start-ups and the fact that I do have imposter syndrome. There is still more to do for me but I am working on it with a fantastic team of coaches, who challenge me to see past my self doubt and negative internal chatter. 

So today I am going to tell you 2 tips for managing negative internal chatter. 

1 Give your internal negative chatter box a name!

We are our own worst critics. So give a name to your internal critic and when they rear head tell them to get back in their box! So for example you might say, “Hetty, I know you are telling me that I’m going to give a poor presentation. Well I’m not listening to you! You are so wrong, I’m going to ace this presentation.”

2 Facts are Friends! 

It’s easy to listen to the internal chatter and negative speculation that we create in our minds. So we have to challenge these beliefs. We have to ask ourselves is this really true? Furthermore we need to embrace the mantra, “Facts are friends!” So the next time, you’re negatively letting your thoughts run away with you, strongly challenge yourself mentally or if it helps you write down the statement and determine whether it is fact or fiction. 

For more tips on being authentically you and moving towards a Growth Mindset, check out the Be Your No.1 Cheerleader Book.